Von

So I’ve been reading this book, Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me.

It’s about things celebrities have learned from gettin’ kicked to the curb. It inspired me to re-tell my heartbreaking narrative.

I’ve been dumped once in my life.
(Technically more than once. My ex dumped me every other week—until one day I had had enough and didn’t take her back)

The ladies did NOT wanna ride Mount Vondarrien back then, dog.
I was a dork. Spent most of my time readin’ comic books.
No fashion sense. No hot brand-name shoes or clothes (thanks, mom). Bad haircut.
I played football, but the girls runnin’ the halls of Dunbar HS still wanted no part of me.
Even if one did—I ain’t have no “game.” Or confidence. I was hopeless.

Until I peeped this pretty young thang in the halls one day. She was short. Cute. Big, wide smile. Athletic body (she played volleyball). And had the hugest rack my 15-year-old eyes had ever seen. Dog, it was love at first sight. The best part? She’d smile at me every time I’d see her. I got that tingly feeling whenever we locked eyes.

But I was too big of a wuss to ever approach her (why’d a hot girl wanna talk to me?)—but shyt got real when her crew said she wanted me to holla.

I put my fear aside and did one day. Next thing you know—in a shocking turn of events—she was my girl.

My life took a drastic change after that, dog.
I’d never had a girlfriend before.
It was uncharted territory—but I was happier than I’d ever been.
We hung out all the time. Talked on the phone for hours (about whatever the hell teens talk about).
We made out in the halls between classes. Held hands.
Dry humped a couple times. All that sappy shyt.
My popularity soared. I got props for datin’ a girl a lot of brothas wanted.
I was in love for the first time ever! What a feeling!
Those were definitely the best days of my young life.
Things couldn’t have been better.

I should’ve seen it coming. All the signs were there.
After a while we ain’t talk or hang out much anymore.
We went from being inseparable to strangers almost overnight.
My world was crumbling all around me.
But I didn’t…I wouldn’t give up hope!

One day I saw her walking with a guy in the hallway. A dude from the band.
I said “hi” to her. She barely acknowledged my presence.

The Price Is Right loser’s horn played over the PA system.

The next day I ran into her again. She handed me a note.
A fukkin’ note.

That  note.
I can’t even remember what it said. I just remember being COMPLETELY devastated.
To my credit, I waited till I got home before I cried. Like a fukkin’ newborn baby. In front of my mom (I’ll bet she was like, “Look at this lil’ pussy. Is this the ‘man’ I raised you to be?”). I’d spend the next couple weeks shedding tears while listening to slow jams, reminiscing about the good times we had together.

Words can never describe the pain I felt. It took me a long, long time to get over what went down.
I was never the same afterwards.

So what’d I learn from the girl who dumped me?

Sadly, I learned not to completely trust any woman ever. Deep down, the pain that 15-year-old felt prevents me from getting too close to anyone. You can’t fully understand unless you’ve loved someone so much—only to have your heart broken in such a cold, heartless way. As a result, I’ll probably always keep any woman in my life at arm’s length. And I have NO tolerance for flaky women. Now if I see the same things start to happen, I can easily let go and be done with it.

Yup, she turned me into a cold, heartless bastard.

Miraculously, we actually got back together my senior year. I guess my feelings for her never left—despite how bad she played me. But after a couple of months, the same stuff happened close to graduation.

This time I just let go. And didn’t look back.