Analyzing my latest ATT phone bill
So I got an email from my good friends at AT&T this past weekend.
The subject line read: Your AT&T bill is ready to view.
It was my March to April bill (the time period before I got a chance to holla at my boy about actin’ a damn fool and runnin’ up my bill).
I took a look at the bill and it was more of the same from the previous months (ol’ boy doin’ some unprecedented shyt on my phone and AT&T bending me over for a dial tone).
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Monthly Service – Apr 1 thru Apr 30 |
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Call Waiting |
4.68 |
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Line Charge |
6.74 |
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Caller Identification |
7.59 |
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Calling Name Display |
.95 |
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Federal Access Charge |
4.52 |
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Total Monthly Service |
24.48 |
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It costs almost $8 for caller ID?
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Additions and Changes to Service |
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This section of your bill reflects charges and credits resulting from |
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account activity. |
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Monthly |
Amount |
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No. |
Description |
Quantity |
Rate |
Billed |
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Effective Mar 15, 2008, your |
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Bill reflects an increase of |
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$3.00 in your Monthly |
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Service charges. Charges are |
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prorated from Mar 15, 2008 |
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thru Mar 30, 2008 |
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1 |
-01. |
Monthly Service |
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1.59 |
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If I’m reading the above statement correctly, this month they just took it upon themselves to start charging me an extra $3 more a month—out of the blue—without even tellin’ me why? Dog, they ain’t give me no explanation—they just want me to accept a higher bill. And if I didn’t look at the statement, I’d have never known.
Is this how AT&T treats their long-time customers? After more than 6 years of (blind) loyalty, this is how y’all gon’ do me?
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Local Calls |
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Direct Dialed Calls |
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0-8 Miles |
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13 |
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Call(s) at Day Rate |
.52 |
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42 |
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Call(s) at 0% Evening Discount Applied |
1.68 |
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16 |
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Call(s) at 0% Night/Wknd Discount Applied |
.64 |
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Over 8 Miles |
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3 |
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Call(s) at Day Rate |
.12 |
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5 |
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Call(s) at 0% Evening Discount Applied |
.20 |
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12 |
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Call(s) at 0% Night/Wknd Discount Applied |
.48 |
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Total for Direct Dialed Calls |
3.64 |
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Day Rate: Mon-Fri, 9am-11am, 2pm-8pm |
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Evening Rate: Mon-Fri, 8am-9am, 11am-2pm, 8pm-9pm – 0% Discount |
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Night/Wknd Rate: 9pm-8am, Sat/Sun/Holidays – 0% Discount |
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91 |
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Call(s) made this month averaged $.036 per call |
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Volume Discount Savings applied to calls made this month |
.36CR |
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This is where my boy went and lost his damn mind.
91! 9—1!
NINETY fukkin’ ONE!
I don’t think I made 91 calls in ALL of ’07.
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3-Way Calling |
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1 |
-01 3-05 219P 773 606-6569 |
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Dude made only one 3-way call—and they charged me $2 for that shyt.
But the real question is: Who the hell makes 3-way calls—in 2008?
Did dude have to be in a conference call? What the fukk!
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Information Charges |
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411 and 555-1212 |
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2 |
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Call(s) made to 1+411 |
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2 |
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Call(s) billed at $1.50 each |
3.00 |
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Thank God dude “restrained” himself and made ONLY two calls to 411 this month.
I still can’t believe they charge $1.50—for information?
But that brings about another important question: With so much information so readily available on the Internet, who the hell still calls 411—in 2008?
And for those of y’all who didn’t know, there IS a FREE national 411-type informational number (1.800.373.3411).
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Surcharges and Other Fees |
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9-1-1 Emergency System |
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Billed for Forest Park |
1.00 |
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State Infrastructure Maintenance Fee |
.17 |
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State Additional Charges |
.03 |
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Federal Universal Service Fee |
.51 |
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IL Universal Service Fee |
.11 |
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IL Telecom Relay Svc and Eqp |
.06 |
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Total Surcharges and Other Fees |
1.88 |
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So let me get this shyt straight—they actually have the nerve to charge you for calling 911?
So if a muhfukka breaks into my apartment tonight and attacks me, and I somehow manage to get away and call the cops—they charge me a dollar for that?????
That is SO wrong on SO many different levels.
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Taxes |
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Federal at 3% |
.86 |
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Illinois at 7% |
2.44 |
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Municipal Telecommunications Tax |
2.09 |
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Total Taxes |
5.39 |
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Total Plans and Services |
41.61 |
So after they hit me with another $6 in taxes, the local part of my bill comes to a whopping $4
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2 |
-02 2-17 640P CHICGOZN10 IL 773 983-XXXX D 4:00 |
.40 |
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2 |
-03 2-18 1207P CHICGOZN10 IL 773 983-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-04 2-18 1229P CHICGOZN10 IL 773 983-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-05 2-19 1027A PALATINE IL 847 705-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-06 2-19 1029A PALATINE IL 847 705-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-07 2-19 1030A PALATINE IL 847 705-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-08 2-19 1158A CHICGOZN10 IL 773 983-XXXX D 22:00 |
2.20 |
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2 |
-09 2-20 1154A CHICGOZN10 IL 773 983-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-10 3-01 344P CHICGOZN10 IL 773 983-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-11 3-02 214P CHICGOZN10 IL 773 983-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-12 3-03 1057A CHICGOZN10 IL 773 983-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-13 3-04 1153A CHICGOZN10 IL 773 983-XXXX D 8:00 |
.80 |
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2 |
-14 3-06 1043A NAPERVILLE IL 630 637-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-15 3-06 1056A EUREKA CA 707 443-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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-16 3-06 909P EUREKA CA 707 443-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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2 |
-17 3-07 1139A DES MOINES IA 515 991-XXXX D 6:00 |
.60 |
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2 |
-18 3-07 804P CHICGOZN10 IL 773 387-XXXX D 2:00 |
.20 |
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-19 3-12 349P NAPERVILLE IL 630 544-XXXX D 1:00 |
.10 |
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Naperville, IL?
Palatine, IL?
Eureka, CA?
Des Moines, IA? Dog, you’re killin’ me!
Fukk that, dog!
AT&T can kiss my black ass.
They have officially driven me to Vonage ($15 a month for 500 minutes, long distance or local).
The important lesson from this fiasco: ALWAYS CHECK YO’ DAMN BILL!
