Von

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Archive for April 10th, 2008

I got hit on by a transsexual last night

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So I’m surfin’ the web last night.

I have a bunch of browser windows open (fantasy baseball, Okayplayer, hotmail, etc).  

I click on the one with my Myspace page.

Says I have new messages. The first one is from my girl Renee—talkin’ about how she don’t care about the bulletin I posted of the Stacey Dash King cover photo (but sure enough her ass looked at the pic before saying she “didn’t care”).

 

But the second one made me do a double take.
It was from a lady with the username Deep Throat Diva (or somethin’ like that).

The subject line to the message read: HI DADDY IM READY TO MILK YOU.

What the hell does that mean? Am I supposed to be aroused by that?
Being “milked” does not sound like an enjoyable occasion. Shyt sounds extremely painful!

 

I was even more shocked by what her note said.

Body:

CALL MS. DEEPTHROAT 773-759-XXXX

At first I thought it was a joke.

So I clicked on her page to investigate. She’s an older lady (mid-40s) from the south side of Chicago. I looked at her pics and one of ‘em was of her in her underwear (of course). I checked out the profile and that’s when shyt got really wild. Turns out she’s a transsexual. But in her bio she writes that she’s a “normal” person who likes to kick back with “company” and watch horror and action flicks.

You gotta be kidding me?

I figured she probably just cut and pasted her “name” and number into a bunch of people’s emails and hoped some horny muhfukka would call her ass (at least I hope and pray I’m not the only one who got that message last night).

What—was I supposed to just pick up the phone and call (“Hi, uh, this is Vondarrien. Can I speak with Ms Deepthroat?”)?

Was I supposed to just jump in my Kia and ride all the way to the south side to get “milked.”

Silly woman.

No one in their right mind would even entertain for a second the mere thought of picking up the phone and callin’ ol’ girl.

Right?

WRONG!

I checked her comments section and there are about 15 or 20 messages from some thirsty-ass idiots tryin’ to either:

A) get laid, B) get their knob slobbed, or C) both!

A sampling of some of the comments:

“U still want this 10inch dick?”

“I been waiting on your phone call. I haven’t received it.“

 

 Is this what it’s come to, fellas?
Are y’all that desperate to get some ass? Y’all got to resort to this?
Is it that easy to get y’all to play yourselves?
Is there any depth y’all won’t stoop to for some head? Or sex?

The game is all fukked up now, dog. It’s a damn shame.

 

 

 

 

Written by vondarrien

April 10, 2008 at 8:59 PM

Posted in My crazy life, Women

Tagged with , , , , ,