An unexpected message awaited in my [popular online dating site] inbox.
New message from [name redacted]
January 4, 2019 at 7:26 PM
“I’m free this weekend. What are your plans? [phone number redacted]”
It caught me off guard because I never expected to hear back from her. In our initial correspondence she expressed, unprompted, an eagerness to go on a date (“I saw you like sushi, it’s my favorite too. Let me know if you ever want to grab a drink sometime.”).
Excellent. After ogling the profile pic of her in a tight low-cut top—turns out I did want to meet for adult beverages (imagine that?).
I asked, on a Tuesday morning, when she was free.
When a few days passed without a reply—I assumed she, despite the date being her idea, had a change of heart (her loss, I thought). So imagine my surprise to see that, although her response came late on a Friday evening (more than 3.5 days after my message), she was still interested in getting a drink that weekend.
I called the next morning. Left a voicemail.
Didn’t hear from her that weekend.
Never heard from her.
In a rational world—under normal circumstances—this would’ve been a stupefying set of circumstances.
An independent observer would most likely be flummoxed by this outcome.
Does it not defy logic that someone would exert so much effort (suggest a date, offer their personal information)—only to flake?
Unfortunately, this result has become all too common.
After a lengthy hiatus, I’ve returned to a dating landscape in which this isn’t an abnormal occurrence.
Consequently, I wasn’t the least bit surprised; it’s happened before.
Months ago, after a lengthy back and forth on [popular dating app], a young lady suggested we transition our correspondence off the Internet.
“So shall we graduate to the phone yet?
Texting can be convenient at times but talking is important”
I called the following day. Left a voicemail. Never heard from her.
Not long ago, I engaged another woman in conversation on [popular dating site]. She divulged her number promptly during the initial correspondence.
“Of course! Feel free to give me a call at [number redacted]
We can talk about all the very bad food I can cook for you to sabotage your diet :)”
Oooh! No one’s cooked for me since [ex-girlfriend].
I envisioned the glory of lying on the couch as she prepared devastating calorie-laden meals while wearing that bandage dress (which accentuated them curves right) and the heels she rocked in her profile pic.
I called a few hours later, which seemingly caught her at an inopportune moment.
“Let me call you back in 15 minutes.”
15 minutes came and went. Never heard from her. Ever.
Dating is a maddening endeavor.
Thus when my comrades complain about their wives/girlfriends and proclaim to envy my bachelor lifestyle, I quickly remind them that the grass ain’t always greener.
Which the aforementioned incidents illustrate in exquisite detail.
Hold your partners tight, nonbachelors. It’s rough out here.